It’s the first day of April and so everything is fair game. I usually do my best to dwell on the positives when it comes to player evaluations, while pointing out the “areas of improvement” in a constructive and thoughtful way. Not today.
Today is for pointing out how fatally flawed the top prospects are and how the draft itself is a complete crap shoot where experts, like yours truly, pretend to be good at evaluating talent.
Darryn Peterson To Participate In The First Half Of the Draft Process
In a recent memo Kansas superstar Darryn Peterson announced he would be participating in the first half of the draft process but would be on a minutes restriction for all interviews.
AJ Dybantsa’s Busy Schedule
The BYU star has accepted invitations to all events including the Portsmouth Invitational Tournament, The G League Elite Camp and the NBA Draft Combine and is expected to play all minutes of all scrimmages. After a mostly positive season for the Cougars Dybantsa is looking to showcase his ferocious mid range game in multiple settings this draft season. He’s one of the few prospects with the lateral agility and ability to cover ground, who could make it to all these tightly scheduled events.
The Best Player In The Draft
After evaluating the top prospects for years with the hope of identifying the elite talents in the class, NBA scouts and content creators will see some random kid from a hard to pronounce Balkan country end up as the best player in the draft. Experts will then agree that they knew the kid would be great, and they wish they would have just followed their gut instincts.
Braylon Mullins Is The Best Shooter Of All Time
Even if Braylon Mullins shoots it poorly during workouts I’ll still believe he’s the best shooter in the draft and is on his way to being the best 3pt shooter of all time. First of all, his name is Mullins, which sounds a lot like Chris Mullin. Second, he’s a lanky 6-6 white guy with a picture perfect jumper, therefor he must be an elite shooter. QED.
A New League Prediction:
After being shunned in the 2026 NBA Draft small guards Tyler Tanner, Tahaad Pettiford and Braden Smith will form their own 6-foot and under league called The I Wish League.
The new league will look to show that men of average stature can sort of be NBA player too.
The leagues’ theme song has been posted below:
Cam Boozer To Take Ground Transportation To All Draft Workouts
The sturdy 6-9 Boozer is expected to avoid being airborne during the entire draft process. He has always been a ground-bound player and is said to be much more comfortable driving or taking the train than flying.
In a related note: With so many “one and done’s” there’s a lot of concern at Duke these days about turnovers…
Fear Of Jeremy Fears
Source: Agents are taking out insurance policies on their clients’ lower extremities before allowing them to workout against Jeremy Fears Jr.
Caleb Wilson Out
After missing the end of the season with a hand injury and then a thumb injury, Wilson will now be sidelined for the entire draft process with a right pinky nail fracture. The UNC forward is expected to make a full recovery but will have to wait at least 4 months before getting his next manicure.
Yaxel Lendeborg
The oldest player in the draft, Yaxel might fall on draft day due to his age but the Michigan star said he is honored to be able to share the biggest night of his life with his grandchildren.
Bryce James In Consideration For The Lakers First Round Pick
Although Bryce red-shirted this year for a strong Arizona Wildcats team, the younger son of LeBron James is believed to be a front-runner for the Lakers first round pick. James has good size and an infectious smile, making him an ideal candidate for the last bench spot.
A Solution To Tanking
The NBA league office has stopped trying to solve the tanking problem after seeing that the 2027 NBA Draft has no prospects worth tanking for. “Jokes on them” said Adam Silver, when asked about teams tanking again next year.
Draft Season
Happy draft season everybody! It’s been a great year of college hoops and the next few months promise to be full intriguing story-lines, tough decisions, smoke screens and plenty of hyped-up workout videos. Enjoy the ride!
Happy April Fools Day.